Speak English. This Is China: My Reaction To Coca-Cola’s Super Bowl Commercial

Vanessa Elizabeth's avatarWander Onwards

SpeakEnglishBefore I moved to China, I definitely wasn’t taking my Chinese classes seriously.  I was a second semester senior, crushing my “intensive” senior curriculum, and working out 3 hours every day since the only other option was sleeping.  Why the hell would I spend the best months of my life trapped in the library with all the freshmeat?  Everyone around me continued to assure me as well, saying,

“Everyone in China speaks English.  They have to.”

Because why wouldn’t they right? America is the greatest nation in the world! We have all the power and the guns.  America, fuck yeah.  Live free or die.  We are God’s greatest gift to the world and everyone justs needs to accept that already….

Or we’ll crush you with our guns, our power, and our English.

But as soon as I hit the ground, everything just became a blur.  Every Chinese character looked vaguely…

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